Are You a Bulldog or Puppydog?

Dear friends -

How do you think you're perceived as a leader? Do you think other people's perceptions of you are accurate? Can their perceptions impact your success or even your career progression? We can guess how others see us, but the reality is, we may never really know.

TEDxUCIrvine

For 10 years, I have dreamed of doing a TEDx talk. I’ve applied to different TEDx events over the years, with no luck. As a speaker, professor, and author, I’ve wanted to share my ideas and expertise to make a positive impact on others, and the TED stage is one of the best ways to do that. As we all know, persistence and timing are key.

Every year, UC Irvine hosts a TEDx event. In 2023 their theme was “debunked” because some ‘truths’ in this world aren’t really true—they’re just there to keep the status quo. Debunked aimed to dismantle ideals, concepts, and stereotypes the system has advertised as ‘truth’. When I read this, I felt that it aligned perfectly with my research on leadership, bias, and gender.

On May 18, 2023, I gave my first talk at TEDxUCIrvine!! The topic was Debunking Bias: Perceptions of Male and Female Leaders. Given that I'm a lifelong drummer, I started off by getting the audience clapping, and played a short drum solo to their rhythmic beat. I then shared how I've experienced bias my entire life as a female drummer.

You can check out the official video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zzxWPA50pXo​

Are You a Bulldog or Puppydog?

In leadership roles, women are still viewed in extremes. They are viewed as either a bulldog (aggressive) or puppydog (passive) - with little in between.

In my dissertation research, I interviewed women at different corporate levels and gave them emotional intelligence (EQ) assessments. As you might imagine, their results spanned across the spectrum. Shari is high in empathy and Lisa is high in confidence & assertiveness - and they BOTH experienced bias.

Shari is a director at a pharmaceutical company who manages a team of field-based employees. Out of 8 directors, she is the most popular, and her team loves working for her. She also has the highest team productivity in the region.

However, she shared with me that “Somehow people view being empathetic and analytical as mutually exclusive. If a woman is empathetic, she can’t be a strong, decisive leader.” Of course, it is possible to be an empathetic leader & drive strong business results, but Shari is widely viewed as a puppydog.

Now, let’s look at the other side of the coin.

Lisa is VP of the sales division at a technology company. She spent 20 years in a variety of leadership roles, both U.S. & abroad, and is an accomplished executive. However, she's been told by her male peers that she is "too direct & honest, to tone down her assertiveness, and be more of a team player”.

She shared that “People have a hard time accepting me as a leader because they expect an empathetic woman. That’s just not me.” Lisa is confident & assertive, but because she freely & directly expresses herself, she’s perceived as a bulldog.

Why are these qualities considered negative for women?

Male leaders with the same behavior are perceived as decisive & competent. Women must walk a fine line of being too nice and too forceful - a classic example of a gender biased double standard.

For women, it can be difficult to succeed as a leader, but men can experience biases as well.

TEDx Discussion Questions

I created a Workbook based on my TEDx talk which includes discussion questions intended for groups, classrooms, or even book clubs. Discussing the topics of leadership, emotional intelligence and gender with other people is the best way to start a meaningful dialogue about these important subjects.

Use these questions to build your group’s awareness and understanding of the biases that keep both men and women from being authentic leaders.

1. What are your perceptions of male leaders?

2. What are your perceptions of female leaders?

3. Where did your perceptions come from?

4. How have you been perceived as a leader?

5. What biases have you experienced?

6. What emotional intelligence traits do you lead with?

7. Without biases and stereotypes, do you think you would behave differently?

8. How would our companies, society and world be different with more gender balanced leadership?

9. Do you think it’s possible to change how we envision leaders?

10. Which of the TEDx talk strategies resonates with you the most?

Next Steps

Bias—whether deliberate or unconscious—is holding us back in the workplace. It impacts our day-to-day work experiences and makes it harder for both men and women to succeed as leaders. In the talk, I share strategies on how we can move forward.

To learn more, you can view the full TEDx talk (14:28) or check out my bestselling book, The Power of Perception: Leadership, Emotional Intelligence, and the Gender Divide. You can also explore my website at drshawnandrews.com.

I hope you enjoy my talk, and have many insightful discussions with your colleagues, friends, and family.

Together, we CAN debunk bias!

-Dr. Shawn Andrews